CODDLING vs. CUDDLING
Coddling Vs. Cuddling
Do you coddle or cuddle? They are not the same even though the motives may be genuine and heartfelt.
Coddle: coddle |ˈkädl|
verb [ with obj. ]
1 treat in an indulgent or overprotective way: I was coddled and cosseted.
Cuddle: cuddle |ˈkədl|
verb [ with obj. ]
hold close in one’s arms as a way of showing love or affection: he cuddles the baby close | they were cuddling each other in the back seat | [ no obj. ] : the pairhave been spotted kissing and cuddling.
• [ no obj. ] lie or sit close and snug: I love cuddling upin front of a fire | they cuddled together to keep out the cold.
I have witnessed many times the devastation caused by coddling vs. cuddling and the destruction that it causes. I’d like to share a couple of real testimonies to help address these problems.
Our human characteristics are geared toward coping mechanisms and this can be a slow painful experience for many people. This coping or coddling is extremely unhealthy and I have found myself ministering to many people who unknowingly are coddlers believing they are cuddlers! Coddling does not free people. Coddling actually creates the very atmosphere of what you are attempting to safeguard others from. It is based in fear feeding the need to protect. Protecting someone doesn’t assist them in self protection it only makes you the protector! When this coddling through control is present an increase in rebellion is built in the very people you wish to protect and strife, division and frustration are likely to increase.
When someone has a spiritual wound, scar or stronghold from a painful and emotional event or trauma and doesn’t get spiritual healing, they do as many others have done and learn to cope or manage with that problem falsely believing and even perceiving that they received potential healing or deliverance. Surpressing and coping are not overcoming! What inevitably happens is out of love to protect others from the same traumatic or painful event we have experienced we create the spiritual atmosphere of our own wounds by controlling, dominating or even manipulative in and effort of protection and/or love. While the intent of the heart is genuine the spirit behind this is ungodly and quite frankly often witchcraft.
I can’t express enough the necessity to fully embrace Matthew 11 28-30.
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)
Let me share with you a couple of testimonies of ministry that might help you achieve revelations.
Last summer while returning to Northern New England I received an online message from a woman in her thirties who I met through a local church. She sent me an online message and wanted to seek counsel. I messaged her back and told her to pick a time to meet over the next couple of days and I would adjust to her schedule. Two days later I received and online message that she was hospitalized with the symptoms of a heart attack. I told her I would come to see in the hospital her after church. When I arrived at the hospital I received another message that she was moved to another hospital with a better cardiac facility.
As I drove to the hospital I prayed and sought the Lord for His wisdom and counsel. I asked the Lord what I was dealing with and the Lord spoke to me and said it was “broken heart syndrome”. When I arrived I met her mother in the hallway prior to seeing her daughter. I knew the mother from prior events. I told her that her daughter wanted to see me and the mother was glad to see me and said she didn’t know I had returned to the area after traveling the country several times in ministry the previous year.
I told the mother that the Lord told me her daughter would be ok and that she would not need surgery as her heart would recover normally even though she had indeed damaged her heart. I told her that the Lord said it was “broken heart syndrome”. When we walked toward the ICU room the charge nurse approached us and said the test results returned. He informed the mother that the daughter had a torn heart valve and that it would mend on it’s own in about 6 months and the cause of this was classified as “broken heart syndrome”. The mother looked at me and was speechless. I told the charge nurse that this is exactly what the Lord revealed to me on the way to the hospital and that I would pray for the young lady.
After the mother had left I ministered to the daughter a while and prayed for her. We discussed some matters and then I let her rest and said I would return the following day.
When I returned the following day the young lady was having heart pain and pressure and was receiving nitro pills. Her younger sister was there. I then ministered to them both and gave them the word of the Lord. I said your symptoms are real and the effects are devastating to your health but the root of the problem is not yours. I continued to tell them that the root was the condemnation their mother felt as a failed parent and that their mother needed to forgive herself. I said your mom is feeling responsible for your bad decisions in life from when you were growing up and the enemy has her bound and she needs to forgive herself. I said your mother is attempting to control your life in an attempt to safeguard you. This controlling and overbearing nature was creating the extreme pressure and strife causing her heart problems. The older sister told her younger sister to listen closely as this really witnessed to them. I said your mom loves you and is trying to protect you but because she is bound by overwhelming guilt and condemnation (not from the Lord) that the enemy put on her she was in essence redeeming herself in a protective or coddling manner. This witnessed to them both. I said you need to forgive your mother and understand how the enemy is working. I said you made wrong decisions growing up and your mom is feeling accountable and needs to forgive herself. I told her she needed to discuss this with her mom and admit that she made wrong decisions growing up and that her mom wasn’t at fault and needed to forgive herself.
The following day I returned to the hospital and visited with her. We were both laughing and rejoicing as she was feeling so much better and had a release of burdens as “light and truth” were spoken. She was discharged the following day and returned home to her mothers house and I never heard again from her even after attempting to follow up. I was hoping to minister to her mother but I never received any reply after attempting to contact her.
The other day I had a similar instance happen at a conference I was hosting. I noticed a woman who was receiving prayer after the meeting from the guest speaker. As she was receiving prayer I saw in the spirit a whirlwind like a sandstorm over her head and as it kept spinning it progressively got clearer in time. I prayed into this and then went and sat with her and shared what the Lord revealed. I told her about the whirlwind and I told her that I also saw her holding her head up and smiling from ear to ear. She said she couldn’t imaging a smile as she was depressed. I said well this is what the Lord spoke to me with the vision.
The Lord showed me your need for inner healing from a traumatic event which you have tried for quite sometime to cope with. He said that He sees your heart’s intent and that is out of love to protect your children but you are controlling them because you are coddling them in a protective mode because of this inner healing need. The Lord is going to heal this inner healing need but He wants you to release it to Him. That is why the whirlwind/dust storm got clearer as it kept spinning in the vision and the dust began to disappear. The dust was the confusion caused by the controlling spirit which is witchcraft and the Lord is going to break this, I declare it in Jesus name! She then went from tears to a big smile as I felt the Lord touch her as I rested my hand on her shoulder. I said see, that is the smile the Lord showed me and the Lord just touched you. She said yes He did and then the Lord touched her again. She then said why don’t we receive this type of ministry at church. I said I can’t answer for your church but unfortunately the Lord is sadden by this also. I told her to seek the Lord first as He is your redeemer. She then asked me if she could contact me if necessary and I said yes. I often receive calls from people later as they share their testimony of what the Lord is doing in their life and we rejoice in the goodness of the Lord.
I love evangelism and I often do this simply by just making myself available to be a servant to the Lord. I will often do my computer work or journaling in public and let the Lord highlight people that I can intercede in prayer or witness to.
So I ask you once again are you a coddler or cuddler? Is fear motiving your need to coddle? Are people more rebellious around you? If so, seek and ask the Lord to reveal any inner healing needs, need for forgiveness (self or others) or fearful things that are causing this coddling nature.
If you believe you are a coddler I’d like to pray with you.
Father I thank you that you discern all things and that you know the motives and intentions of our hearts. Father I submit myself to you and pray that you reveal, expose and heal me from any inner healing needs or spirits of trauma, abuse, bitterness, unforgiveness, controlling spirits and all things which are ungodly or against the will of God over my life. Lord I thank you for your redemptive love and the joy of my salvation through finished work of the Cross of Christ Jesus. Lord I thank you that your perfect love casts out all fear and that where the Spirit of The Lord is there is Freedom. Lord thank you for never forsaking me, redeeming me and cleansing me with your blood. I declare and proclaim that I am washed clean through the gift of repentance and the blood of Christ Jesus.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18 KJV)
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17 ESV)